Akashi is not a cat person
by kate882
Summary: Akashi does not want a cat. He does not need a cat. So, why is there one in Kuroko's lap? Or, the story of how Akashi got a cat.


Akashi Seijuurou was not a cat person. He wouldn't even call himself a dog person. He put up with Nigou because he knew he'd never convince Kuroko to give up the dog. He knew when to pick his battles. Granted, after three years of living with Kuroko he had become a bit fond of the dog. He blamed it on the eyes.

The acceptance of Nigou did not, however, mean that he wanted another pet. Apparently he had not made this clear enough to Kuroko.

"Put it back wherever you found it." He ordered when he came into his and Kuroko's appartment and found a small cat sitting on Kuroko's lap in their living room as Kuroko watched a basketball game on TV.

"No." Kuroko refused without so much as looking away from the screen.

The kitten did look over at Akashi though. Kuroko really did have a knack for finding animals resembling the generation of miracles, but the orange cat's golden eyes did nothing to change Akashi's stance on a new pet. He saw quite enough of Kise in their home as it was. He certainly didn't need a cat to remind him of the blond's existence. Akashi narrowed his eyes when the unwelcome creature meowed at him.

Maybe a different tactic than a direct order would work. "Tetsuya, why is there a cat in our appartment?"

"I found him." Kuroko at least looked at him this time. "He was in a box and it was raining."

Why were animals always in boxes when Kuroko found them? Even the bird he'd brought home a while ago had been in a box. Akashi didn't care much about the bird. It lived outside. Kuroko was the one who put seeds into the bird feeder. It wasn't his problem. Somehow it was still their bird to the other residents of the appartment complex. It's green feathers were close to the shade of Midorima's hair. They called it Midotaka because birds reminded Kuroko of Izuki and Takao and Takao was the one that was close with Midorima. Akashi thought the universe was conspiring against him. Wasn't it enough that he had to deal with the actual generation of miracles on a regular basis? Why was he slowly building up a collection of animals resembling them? It was probably for that time in middle school that he made Kuroko cry. The universe was getting revenge against him for that. He couldn't really blame it, but he still didn't want a cat.

"Cats are often in boxes. I assure you that if I were to get one out right now that thing would find its way to the box. Being in a box is not a reason to bring home a cat."

"It was raining, Akashi-kun." Kuroko reminded him flatly.

"Yes, how could I forget the rain? Okay, so clearly you had to save it from water, something most strays have to deal with, but now that it is not raining outside you can return it to where you found it." Akashi reasoned.

Kuroko frowned at his boyfriend for the sarcasm. "I cannot."

"And why is that?"

"Ryouta #3 and I have bonded."

Akashi frowned in distaste. "All the more reason to return it. We already have too much of Ryouta in our home." Ryouta #2 was a poster that Kise had given to them as a house warming present that neither of them particularly wanted. They had given up on storing it because Kise would hang it back up in their kitchen every time they took it down. It simply resided there now. If they ever moved they would leave it for the new tenants. It was signed and everything. Surly they would know someone who wanted it if they didn't.

"I will not return him to the cruelty that is the outside world."

Akashi could feel a headache coming on. "Then give it to a pound."

Kuroko's offended gasp was a bit over dramatic in Akashi's opinion. "What if he doesn't get adopted? There are pounds that put down animals that are there for too long. Have a heart."

"Give it to Ryouta."

"I do not trust Kise-kun with the responsibility of a pet." Which was probably fair. If Akashi weren't trying to keep it out of his own appartment he would be mildly concerned with the idea of Kise being responsible for anything more than a pet rock.

"We already have a dog. Dogs don't like cats." It was probably the best argument he had.

"Nigou gets along perfectly well with Ryouta #3." As if to prove Kuroko right the dog came trotting in at the sound of his name. He walked over to Kuroko, sniffed the ball of fur in his lap, and then licked it before laying at Kuroko's feet. The cat didn't look thrilled by this development, but didn't do anything other than start washing itself.

"Cats and birds don't get along." He tried.

"Ryouta #3 is an indoor cat. He will not be around Midotaka." Akashi had been afraid that would be the answer.

"I don't even want a cat."

"I want a cat."

They ended up owning a cat.

The cat seemed to take more from Kise than just his name and eyes. It had developed the same clinginess when it came to Kuroko as Kise did. It was especially annoying to Akashi because weren't cats supposed to independent creatures? It was loud too. It meowed all the time, and its voice only seemed to get louder as it got bigger.

Kise got along great with it, just like he got along with Nigou. The traitor. What was the point of having been his captain in middle school if he couldn't even rely on him to help get the intruding creature out of his appartment? He supposed since Kise himself was an intruding creature they must have formed some kind of alliance.

Akashi only resigned himself to the face that he owned a cat when he saw the Christmas cards Kuroko was sending out. Akashi had fallen asleep on the couch after a long day at work and the cat was curled up on his chest. Kuroko had his arm extended out so that he could be in the picture too, grinning at the camera as he pointed with his free hand at Akashi and Ryouta #3. Akashi was never getting rid of the stupid cat.


End file.
